Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Too good to miss!

The quickest of quick updates, found this video earlier today and had to share it with you all immediately.

Aussie Pride!!!

Monday, 20 February 2012

Greetings BlokesBloggers.
I'm putting a lot of effort into this next update, and hopefully the new update template is much easier to navigate for you all!
I don't have much to ramble on about for this week, so lets just get straight into the new update, including more giant feasts from Epic Meal Time, vocabulary building with the Best of Urban Dictionary, and a new gallery of possibly the hottest porn star I've ever laid eyes on!

Enjoy ;-)

Epic Meal Time

          Youtube Gold

          Pics of the week

          Top 10's


The Mayor of Darwin was very worried about a plague of pigeons. He could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of Darwin was full of pigeon poop, the people of Darwin could not walk on the sidewalks or drive on the roads. It was costing a fortune to keep the streets and sidewalks clean.

One day a man came into the Civic Centre and offered the Mayor a proposition. "I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without cost to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me one million dollars and ask one question."

The Mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition. The next day the man climbed to the top of the Civic Centre, opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue Northern Territory sky. All the pigeons in Darwin saw the blue pigeon and gathered up behind it. The Darwin pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew southward out of the city. The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man atop the Civic Centre.

The Mayor was very impressed. He thought the man and the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous feat to rid Darwin of the plague of pigeons. Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing, the Mayor presented him with a check for 1 million dollars and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask. The man accepted the money and told the Mayor to ask his question.

"Do you have a blue Abo?" asked the Mayor.


Epic Meal Time

More videos from the boys who REALLY know what a man wants for dinner.



Mrs. Watson goes to the doctor for a full medical.After an hour of testing, the doctor looks at Mrs. Watson and says, "Mrs. Jones, overall you are very healthy for a 42 year old. There is however, only one problem. You are 45 pounds overweight and bordering obesity. I would strongly suggest that you diet now to save any complications in the future. "She looks sternly at him and says, "I demand a second opinion"."OK" replies the doctor, "you're fucking ugly as well!"


Watching television one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air, trying to catch them in his mouth. As the couple watch the latest episode of their favorite show, the man loses concentration for a split second, and a peanut lands in his ear. He tries to get it out, but only succeeds in forcing the thing in awfully deep.

After a few hours of unsuccessful poking and prodding,  the couple decide to go to the hospital, but on their way out of the front door they meet their daughter coming in with her boyfriend.

The boyfriend takes control of the situation; he tells them he's studying medicine and that they're not to worry about a thing. He then sticks two fingers up the man's nose and asks him to blow, and low and behold, the nut shoots out from his ear and flies across the room.

As the daughter and her boyfriend wander off into the kitchen, the man and his wife sit down to discuss their luck. "So" the wife says, "what do you think he'll become after he finishes school? A GP or a surgeon?"

"Well says the man, rubbing his nose, "by the smell of his fingers, I think he's likely to be our son-in-law."


The beautiful Jurgita Valts


   New economic lingo - crisis special!

  1.  CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer.
  2.  CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer.
  3.  BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
  4.  BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance the wife gets no  jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
  5.  VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.
  6.  P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
  7.  BROKER - What my broker has made me.
  8.  STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.
  9.  STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
  10.  STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
  11.  FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
  12.  MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.
  13.  CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
  14.  YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
  15.  WINDOWS  - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
  16.  INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Last year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
  17.  PROFIT - An archaic word no longer in use.




TOP 10...

      Australia's most liked people
      Audience Development Australia's list of our most fair-dinkum citizens

  1. Hugh Jackman        (actor)
  2. Andrew Denton       (TV presentor)
  3. Jennifer Hawkins    (model)
  4. Ernie Dingo               (TV personality)
  5. Dave Hughes            (comedian)
  6. Magda Szubanski    (comedian)
  7. Glenn Robbins         (comedian)
  8. Hamish Blake           (comedian)
  9. John Clarke              (comedian)
  10. Shane Bourne          (comedian)

     Ok, so this is only a Top 9 list, but it was too good to leave out..
     Comments made by commentators during the 2004 Summer Olympics

  1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
  2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
  3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." 
  4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries,and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."
  5.  Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
  6.  Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
  7.  At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
  8.  Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
  9.  Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"






Valentines Day
A Pointless and worthless day invented by Hersheys Confectionary Co and Joining forces with Teleflora Florists and Corbans Wine Makers just so they can profit out of Wine, Cholocates and Flowers, while single people suffer at the clutches of the hands of this evil and corrupt capitalist-orientated day that is not even a fucking holiday period.

Cum Shelves
Large breasts that when you release your load on them they hold your cum very well.

Knuckle Sacker 
Someone who will have sex with anyone.
"Damn, look at that girl he's with... He's a total Knuckle Sacker!!! She's hideous!"

Yearly date conmemorating the day a couple first engaged in sexual intercourse.


Thursday, 16 February 2012

Just a very quick update to let you all know that NO, BlokesBlog is not shutting down.
 Thought i should let you all know after receiving a few worried emails after my Twitter account got banned. According to Twitter policy, anyone who gets a lot of followers in a short time is apparently breaking the rules? Yeah i don't get it either, but hopefully Twitter will come to their senses and re-activate my account ASAP!
 Also, you may have noticed BlokesBlog's slightly new layout, hopefully it's a bit more user friendly for ya'll. I'm still making a few small tweaks and changes, but it should all be finished before the next big update :-)

 Anyways, time for me to get back to working on the next update before i start rambling more than Bill Cosby on smack. But in the mean time, here's a personal favorite of mine that should have you in stitches until next week..